Love Can Wait
by CE Winters
Summary: Darren has a crazy plan. It starts out as a protective goodwill gesture, but soon begins to manifest in another way. Chris sees things a bit differently. In spite of Darren's plan, he adamantly sticks by the theory love can wait...or at least tries to.
1. Chapter 1 :: Love Can Wait

_A/N: Hey there everybody! CE Winters here, with a new story (again - can't I just finish one before starting another?), except this one is a little bit different :) I've never done anything like this before so - yikes! But I'm rolling with the punches. I'll warn you all upfront: **this story is RPF.** I am sorry if you've read my other stuff and come to this story in hopes of it being more like that. _

_The title for this comes from Cameron Mitchell's song "Love Can Wait", which was the inspiration for this story and the song I'll take all the chapter titles from. The song is absolutely beautiful, and even if you don't continue reading this story after the warning I just gave, I recommend everyone going to buy it! :D_

**Rating/Warnings:**_ T - for now. I don't anticipate anything happening in this story that isn't a T rating so that's very unlikely to change. The warnings might be a little spoiler-y, but I know some people only like specific types of CrissColfer fics, so I'll just warn you ahead of time. If you're down for anything, just scroll past if you don't want to be spoiled! This story features an initially platonic relationship that evolves into something else - includes reluctant!Chris and Colfersexual/you-fall-in-love-with-the-person-not-gender!Darren._

**Summary:**_ Darren has a crazy plan. It starts out as a relatively harmless gesture of protectiveness and goodwill, but soon begins to manifest itself differently. Chris sees things a bit differently. In spite of Darren's plan, he's adamantly sticking by the theory that love can wait...or at least trying to._

* * *

><p>Chris kept pushing repeat on the video button – but only because the entire thing was so ridiculous. He supposed that was what happened when three of the goofiest people in the entire world sat down to an interview together and wound up telling cast kissing tales.<p>

For what had to have been the tenth time, he snickered as Ashley called Darren out for moving on, as she said, her man. It was typical Ashley, and Chris didn't mind it one bit.

Feeling immensely pathetic, he rewound the video again to the part when his three cast mates began talking about Darren's surprise attack on Chris's face during the Dublin Klaine skit. The funniest thing about it was that everything they said was _true_. Darren did just plant one on Chris's face, and it was rather hard.

But, contrary to popular fangirl belief – or hope – that was the _only_ thing that had been hard on that stage. Chris had found it more comical than anything else; it was a prank war that had completely backfired on its instigator. The prankster had been one-upped, and he had happily conceded defeat before sitting back and laughing with his cast mates over the public's reaction to their shenanigans.

Now, he thought as he pursed his lips and rewound once more, the silly little interview was ricocheting off of more walls than he had anticipated when he'd first seen it, and it didn't look as if it would stop anytime soon. Darren, on the other hand, had probably hoped they would never live it down.

He could hardly resist rolling his eyes as Darren, trolling as usual, declared his irresistible love for Chris. Mark had been absolutely no help; Chris was half convinced he was stoking the fire on purpose. But it was Ashley who had been the first one to actually say the name: Chris Criss. It sounded absolutely ridiculous, like something a sadistic parent – or one who mistakenly thought they were clever – would name their child in order to get a few laughs.

If he did marry Darren, the last thing he would do would be to take the other man's last name. Chris supposed he ought to resent the fact that people, even his friends, automatically assumed he would be the figurative girl in their relationship. But then again, Chris thought as he shut his computer lid a bit too harshly, he didn't plan on marrying Darren anytime soon…or ever.

He put his laptop aside carefully to make up for his harsh treatment of it earlier, and stood up in his trailer. He looked around as he arched to stretch his back – as much as he loved living in a fully furnished apartment, he did adore his trailer. It had the strobe lights all set up inside for his Club Chris nights, and it had been his anchoring point all through the rise of their show. It was silly to be attached to a trailer, but there you go.

Chris checked his watch – twenty minutes until he had to be in costume and makeup for the filming of his first scene in season three: another Lima Bean moment between Kurt and Blaine.

Just as his thoughts turned to the show – and as he was arched backward in mid stretch, a clamor came from the door. There was a rapid flurry of knocking, and even before the voice spoke, Chris had no doubt of whom it was. "Knock, knock! Coming in Chris, I hope you're decent or else people will _really_ have something to gossip about." Darren burst in before Chris had a chance to straighten up. "Ah, already bending over backward for me? Acquiescent, but I can work with it. I like the enthusiasm."

Chris stood up hurriedly and cleared his throat. "What on _Earth_ are you talking about?" He shook his head as Darren merely smiled widely and began rooting through a bowl of fruit on a nearby table. "Speaking of giving people something to gossip about, I don't even really think I need to chip in on that front. You seem to have it all under control. Should I go to the courthouse and change my name to Chris Criss now or later?"

Darren smirked and finally picked up an orange. "I wasn't about to say this with Mark, Ashley, and a million fans right there listening, but I'm personally partial to Darren Colfer. Either way, neither of us will have to get new monogrammed hankies."

"Why do I have a feeling you're serious?" Darren chuckled at Chris's question and began peeling his orange. "Really though Dare, you should stop taunting people. We've already had to cancel our interviews. If we tug the fangirl yo-yo a few more times, we'll have some sort of mutiny on our hands."

"They wouldn't dare…we captain this ship!"

"_You_ captain the ship. I'm an innocent sailor."

"A blameless yet periodically enthusiastic seaman, huh, CC?" Darren asked with a wink.

"CeeCee is a girl's name," Chris said dryly. "It wouldn't kill you to stick with Chris."

"But you call me DC." Darren puffed out his bottom lip in protest and turned his round amber eyes up in a silent plea.

Chris paused, fighting a losing battle with Darren's huge puppy dog eyes. "Fine," he conceded. "Just when it's only the two of us though. I don't want it catching on, heaven forbid."

"No problem, mon capitaine." Darren smiled widely and popped an orange slice into his mouth.

"Anyway, you never responded a minute ago, when I said you shouldn't tease people. Some of them have delicate compositions, you know."

"They enjoy it," Darren said with a shrug.

"But _we_ know it isn't true," Chris pointed out. "People really think we could…you know."

"You know?" Darren smirked again.

Chris sighed and rolled his eyes. "_Be together_."

"It isn't that far out there," Darren said absently as he flicked an orange seed to the ground. "I've heard weirder things. Besides, just imagine if there was some cataclysmic genetic breakthrough in the next few years. Our kid would be pretty damn attractive; even _you_ have to admit that. He'd have your skin…my eyes…hmm, your eyes are pretty magnificent too, though. So maybe he should have your eyes? But then, he'd also have your height, your hair – which is looking extra soft today, by the way. Are you using something new?" Chris batted away Darren's hand as he reached out to touch his hair, a smile twisting onto both of their faces. "And your lips, _of course_…and your voice." His brow furrowed. "Our perfect make-believe child looks too much like you. Help me out here, he needs something of mine."

"Curls," Chris said, getting comeuppance by reaching out and ruffling Darren's hair. Most of the time he was content to half follow along while Darren chattered on happily, but this particular train of thought was far too entertaining to let him venture off on alone. The fact that he had the softest, most ruffle able hair in the universe was completely peripheral.

"_Perfetto_," Darren said with a little flourish as he stood up.

"You keep twisting around the subject, you know," Chris said indulgently.

"Well, it's a twisty subject all on its own." Darren surveyed Chris's carefully passive expression. "Why? It doesn't…it doesn't _bother_ you, does it? I mean, the fact that people think we might be a couple?" Chris's momentary silence spoke for itself. "Chris…"

"It isn't anything personal," Chris said quickly. "It's just that…ever since Glee, and the fame…well, you know. I haven't really been with anyone. Now half the world thinks that my first boyfriend is you, and you've said repeatedly that you like girls. How pathetic is that?"

"I only keep saying that because I feel like it needs to be said – that you don't need to be gay to support gay rights. I joke around, but…" He shrugged.

"How noble of you," Chris said dryly. "Hate to break it to you, but if you're trying to keep people from getting their hopes up, you're doing a horrible job."

Darren shrugged once more and smiled benignly. Chris knew from experience that it was possible – and most likely probably – that this conversation would go nowhere. "Oh, come on," Chris said, tugging in Darren's sleeve as he passed. "We'll be late to hair and makeup."

"Chris, I have a question," Darren said, turning to follow him. His tone immediately caught Chris's attention. Darren hardly ever sounded serious if he wasn't either acting, joking, or telling the media how in all seriousness, he was just some fan who got insanely lucky. Chris had a feeling that now was different than all three of those instances.

"Yes…"

"You say these things, offhandedly and in interviews…things like how you'd love to have a boyfriend if there were any offers. People always ask who you're taking to events, and it's always a female friend – or like, how you're taking your grandmother to the Emmys."

"You took _your_ mom to the first Harry Potter premire," Chris retorted.

"But you know that they ask the question because they're all wondering if you'll finally bring a real date," Darren continued.

"Oh, here we go."

"Then just now, you said that you haven't been with anyone since Glee, and that everyone thinks _I'm_ your first boyfriend."

Chris shook his head. "Darren…please stop."

"But here's the thing that confuses me." Darren stroked his beardless face pensively. "You _came out_ on Chelsea Handler, and that was after Glee started." Darren finally stopped talking and made eye contact with Chris.

Chris knew his way around well enough to safely be able to bury his head in his hands.

"So what does that mean?"

The taller man took his head from his hands to glare at Darren. "That's just fabulous, you're trying to deduce my love life. Are you happy now? I've said it before: I'm the gay guy that girls love, but no offers are coming in from anyone who could actually be with me."

"But you're a _catch_." Darren quieted down and walked in silence for a few moments.

"You know how it is on this show," Chris said, trying to be patient. "No one knows what it's like, not unless they're going through the same thing. Unfortunately, no one who's going through the same thing share my…preferences."

Darren bit his lip thoughtfully. "This would be a lot easier if the entire world didn't think I was straight."

Chris gaped at his friend. He was in so much initial shock that he almost stopped walking, and had to remind his feet to move. "Uh…aren't you?"

"Well, yeah, I guess," Darren said, shrugging a shoulder. "It's easier than saying you don't have a word for it, isn't it?"

Chris was floored. "_Is it_?"

"Hey, I said it myself: you fall in love with the person, not the gender."

Chris moved his head in something between a confused nod and disbelieving shake. "Wait…I thought you were the one who was supposed to be confused about me, not _me _being confused about _you_. What are you saying?"

Darren waved his hands around nebulously. "People already think we're a couple. We've made out a dozen plus times, so no surprises there. You've never had a boyfriend. Hell, I didn't want to ask, but I don't even know if you've kissed a guy other than on the show."

Chris was sure there was no possible way his face could get any redder. "You better not be suggesting what I think you are. I must have misunderstood you somewhere. Darren, are you…asking me _out?_"

"Oh, then you didn't misunderstand at all," Darren said pleasantly. "Awesome."

Chris scoffed in disbelief. "Um…_no_. Are you insane? Well, don't answer that." Darren looked injured, so Chris quickly continued. They stopped just outside hair and makeup, and Chris grabbed his hands. "I know this is some…_strange_ way of saying you care…very strange. But you don't exactly think things through all of the time. Do you remember the last thing you did something without thinking it through?"

Darren's face fell, if possible, even farther. "I'm still not allowed inside any Chuck E. Cheese restaurants, nationwide."

"Exactly. What you're suggesting is…well, it isn't even real. Do you know what I mean?" Darren nodded, though Chris wasn't completely convinced he was genuine. "So…I'm twenty-one, and I haven't had a boyfriend, or…okay, anyways, it isn't something that's supposed to be forced. Whatever is meant to happen will, and I'll be thankful for it if…uh, _when_ it comes."

Darren no longer looked disappointed. Instead, he looked contemplative, which made Chris nervous. "Hmm…well, I'll see you later, Chris."

Chris's mouth fell open. "Wha…that's _it_?"

"Yep. I'll see you on set. I'm _so_ excited for this scene. People will love it. It's just so…_beautiful_!"

Chris shook his head and followed Darren as he walked into the room to begin his transformation into Blaine Anderson. Chris flattered himself for being pretty wise for his age, but one thing he would never, _ever_ understand, was Darren Criss.

* * *

><p><em>AN: There we go for the first chapter! I've never written CrissColfer RPF (or any RPF) before, so this was totally new to me! Any feedback would be appreciated, as I'm still a bit unsure about my adeptness (or lack thereof) in navigating this uncharted territory "^^_

_Thanks for reading!_


	2. Chapter 2 :: If You Want Something

_A/N: Hello again! So, I was having inexplicable trouble getting this chapter out from Chris's third person POV, so I just said "what the hell!" and wrote it from Darren's! Now I think I'll be switching off every chapter or so from here :D Also, I'm forever dedicating this to the CrissColfer sex riot that started on Tumblr the other day and will probably continue until NOvember 8th, the holiest of holy days in the Klaine fandom._

_Enjoy!_

* * *

><p>Whatever Darren had been expecting, it hadn't been the way that his confrontation had actually worked out. Then again, he'd only had about seven and a half minutes to formulate anything to expect at all. That was what happened when you made up life-altering plans on the fly. Chris had been right; he <em>did<em> tend to jump into things without thinking them through.

But now, he'd had an entire _week_ to think long and hard, which might have been longer than he had ever thought about anything before. He had simply never needed to think that intently about anything. The times when his impulsivity misguided him usually had some catastrophic outcome, like the Chuck E. Cheese incident that Chris had reminded him about, which was why they ended up being more memorable. But contrarily, the majority of times, his gut instinct turned out to be the best course of action. The past week of contemplation only confirmed it.

It was unconventional, to be sure, and Darren wasn't quite sure what exactly was fueling his plan. A bit of it might have been pity, although he hated the thought of feeling it, and would never have admitted it to Chris. A stronger part of it was protectiveness. Christopher Paul Colfer had exactly one fault, and that was that he didn't know how amazing he actually was. Darren felt as if he almost had to protect the man from his own insecurities. The problem wasn't that he had never had a boyfriend. It wasn't even that he disliked that people thought Darren might have been his first – though admittedly, that one did sting a bit. It was the way he phrased things – loaded with "ifs" – as if he wasn't undoubtedly worth someone's affection. Darren planned on remedying that, if nothing else.

Step One was to be put into action that very night, a week after his plan had initially been turned down. It was not a problem that Chris wouldn't take the easy option. In fact, it was even better. This was how things were done in the olden days, with proper old-fashioned wooing, when one actually had to fight to win another's favor. It was a thrilling adventure in its own right.

The key to a perfect Step One was executing it subtly enough that it might have been almost normal otherwise. The almost normal part was the aspect that Darren was having a bit of trouble with. Ordering take-out or dragging Chris to some obscure specialty restaurant that would either be the best thing either had ever eaten or would give them food-sickness – now _that_ would have been normal. Sneaking into Chris's trailer while he was filming was less so, especially when he was hauling five bags of groceries, a good fraction of them specialty spices and herbs. It really was Chris's fault that breaking in had been so extraordinarily easy. If he hadn't predictably left the same window open as he did every day so that his trailer could "get air", Darren wouldn't have been able to climb through.

The plan was in action though, and there was no help for it now. By the time Chris arrived an hour and a half later, the trailer was already filled with the intoxicating smells of the cooking of someone who simply had a natural knack for the art. Darren was elbow-deep in a medley of vegetables when he heard Chris enter, preventing any movement.

He heard the normal sounds of movement cease abruptly, and with a start, Darren realized that he'd left some of his things near the door. Before he could alert Chris as to his presence, before he could even turn around, the lights turned off, sending him into darkness. "Don't hit!" Darren cried quickly. "It's me!"

Silence, and then: "_Darren_?" The lights flicked back on, and Darren saw Chris staring at him with an expression half between amusement and anger.

"I can explain myself," Darren said quickly, gesturing with his hands before he remembered that they were coated in raw food.

Chris flinched as a small splash hit his cheek. "Do tell."

The corner of Darren's mouth quirked upward in amusement as he heard Kurt's familiar line. "I'm making you dinner," he said. "See?"

Chris's eyes traveled over the boiling spaghetti and browned chicken. "I see…I could have hurt you, you know."

"What did you intend by turning off the lights anyways?" Darren asked, continuing to combine ingredients.

"You couldn't see, could you?"

"No."

"Mission accomplished."

"But _you_ couldn't see, either."

"I could have thrown something at you." Chris grinned. "I'm a top-notch marksman."

Darren gaped. "What if we had been throwing a surprise party for you? You would have killed all the guests."

Chris shrugged and leaned back against the counter. "Ah, the woes of being a ninja," he teased. "So what's the occasion?"

Darren scowled with faux-annoyance. "I need an occasion to cook dinner for you?"

"_Do_ you? You've never done it before."

"That isn't true!" Darren protested. "Last year when you first came to Dalton, I made dinner for all the guys."

Chris shook his head, and Darren turned intently back to what he was doing. He knew what Chris meant: he had never made dinner for _him_ before, and it was true. "So are you any good?" Chris asked, peering at what was in preparation.

"Fair," Darren said evasively.

Chris's eyebrow rose. "Usually when you say that, it means you're amazing and you don't want to brag. You always understate yourself. Remember when we first met, and you were talking about the instruments you played, and you said 'a few'." Chris chuckled. "It made the list of top contenders for the vastest understatement ever."

"What a coincidence," Darren remarked, thinking that they had more in common than Chris thought. Chris's brow drew together briefly, but he didn't address the issue further, so Darren quickly changed the subject. "I learned how to make it in Italy. It probably tastes better when it's made by an actual Italian – and I swear, _everything_ tastes better when you eat it in Italy – but I think I can do it justice.

"Look at all of this," Chris said, examining the rows of Italian herbs. "Where did you get these? Marjoram…what even _is_ that?"

"For the salad," Darren said, shooting Chris a sideways grin. "We're making our own."

"Of course," Chris replied, putting the marjoram back down. "I mean, naturally _you_ would." He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Can I pay you back for some of this stuff?"

"No thanks," Darren said brightly, setting a medley of peppers and herbs on a burner to cook. "You can help though. Just watch the spaghetti while I do the salad dressing."

"Just watch it?" Chris asked nervously. "Okay…seriously just watch it? I don't have to do anything?"

Darren rolled his eyes, a smile creeping onto his face. "Spaghetti is probably the easiest food to cook, _ever_. You'll be fine, Oh Incompetent One."

"I'm not incompetent," Chris protested. He picked up a whisk, of all things, and began prodding the noodles. "I can make amazing French toast, I'll have you know."

"Oh really?" Darren said, leaning close to Chris to pluck the whisk from his hands. "I'll have to try it one morning." Chris stilled, and only then did Darren realize what he might have seemed to imply. He cleared his throat uncomfortably and backed away, whisk in hand and his cheeks suddenly feeling strangely warm. "I need it for the dressing," he murmured in the way of explanation.

He turned back to making the dressing feeling slightly uneasy. He made an inadvertent sexual innuendo…so what? It happened all the time, and he wasn't the type to feel embarrassed for anything of the sort. Then why did he? Was it because of what Chris had thought? Was it because he was afraid that Chris might think he was pushing the thing he had asked him the prior week? Technically, he _was_ pushing it, though not in the way he'd implied.

"Hey Darren?" Chris asked, startling Darren out of his thoughts. When he turned to the other man, Chris was surveying him intently. "What is this for, really? Is this about…what happened a few days ago? I can just forget about it, if you want. It's as good as forgotten."

"No," Darren protested. "No, that isn't what I want." He contemplated his words carefully. "I just have to say something, and make sure that you understand it, okay?"

"Okay," Chris said cautiously.

"You said that what…what I asked you wouldn't work, because it wasn't real," Darren explained. "That isn't true. I can't think of anything that would be _more_ real. I asked you because I don't want you to be wanting for anything; I want you to have whatever you want; I want you to have _everything_. Do you see?"

Chris looked at him blankly, even a bit strangely. "No."

Darren grimaced. Putting his feelings into words had always been difficult, but now it was almost impossible, especially if he wanted to maintain some semblance of apparent sanity. "This is going to sound strange," he warned. Chris lifted an eyebrow so high that Darren was sure that it would get lost in his hairline, but Chris didn't say anything. "Don't get all weird at me for saying it, either. I just _have_ to. You're twenty-one. That isn't old, but it's old enough. You haven't really had all those harmless failed relationships in the past to teach you things you need to know for the future." Chris opened his mouth to protest but Darren beat him to the punch. "Don't! Don't say anything yet. You're old enough for something to _really_ hurt you if it came to it or if things went badly, and the fame doesn't help. If your first…_whoever_ decides to do something horrible to you, it might be serious enough to hurt forever. It won't be failed puppy love."

Darren's amber eyes scanned Chris for signs of emotion, but he couldn't pick up on anything telling. Chris merely stood there, looking intently at the boiling noodles as his hand clenched tightly to the countertop. "If that was me," Darren continued cautiously. "If I was there to just …I don't know, show you how relationships _go, _then you won't have to go through any of that! It will be real because I would do anything – _anything_ – to protect you. The problem is that you don't know how amazing you are; you deserve the best, I mean the _best_." Darren wasn't saying that he was the best, certainly not, but he was a hell of a lot better than someone who might exploit Chris because of his talent, looks, and money, and those people were more common than he would have cared for.

Chris was silent for a few nerve-wracking moments. "That's what this is?" he finally asked. "You're…winning me over?" Darren nodded, unable to reliably form words. Chris observed him like he was some rare creature that he'd never set eyes on before. "That is…the weirdest thing I have ever heard in my entire life. I'm still not sure I understand how that is ethical, sane, or would work at all, period."

"You know me," Darren insisted. "You're comfortable with me. I don't see what the problem is."

"The problem is that not everyone is as accepting as you," Chris said, "and it would essentially be a physical experiment because we don't have…" Chris's eyes skittered sideways and he cleared his throat awkwardly. "This fake relationship you're proposing, to…acclimatize me to the real world, people won't get it. It's not something normal people do." Darren frowned. He knew that he should be concerned that Chris didn't include him in the category of normal people, but he was more put off that Chris still didn't seem to think his idea was a good one. "Oh yes – then, of course, there's the problem that _I'm not a woman."_

"I know!"

"I'm not a woman, and you're straight, and you're asking me to be your…something or other," Chris said, avoiding Darren's eyes as color filled his cheeks.

"I thought I said something about that when we were talking before," Darren said quietly. "Why do people have to label themselves like that? I'm just Darren."

"Because that's how all the judgmental people sort through who to make miserable," Chris said dryly, "and if you suddenly say 'just kidding, I can love who I want to', it'll make things all the worse for you."

Darren blinked. "Love?"

Chris's cheeks flushed even more. "Come on Dare, you know what I mean."

He began viciously whisking the salad dressing, trying not to think on how this had all been in vain. "So you're saying no," Darren said flatly. Chris's silence perked up his ears. "Chris?"

Chris shrugged, a hopeless expression on his face. "I'm not saying yes," he clarified. "But you've got me confused enough to be slightly…intrigued. "It's shameful and I can't even contemplate how you would go about actually putting what you're saying into practice, but…I trust you." Darren's eyes lit up. "It's probably the biggest mistake ever, but I do trust you. I'm not saying anything, okay?"

Darren nodded vigorously, his mouth curling into a smile. "If I win you over?" he asked.

"We'll see," Chris said dryly, looking at Darren suspiciously from the corner of his eye.

"You see, it all starts with a delicious, home-cooked meal," Darren said, his eyes twinkling. In spite of himself, he started laughing. To his immense delight, Chris followed suit a moment later.


	3. Chapter 3 :: You Don't Have to Change

_A/N: HOLY CHEESESTICKS GUYS. It's been so long since I updated anything *sobs* I'd like to take this opportunity to inform everyone that unless otherwise stated, I have NOT abandoned **anything** I'm writing. Again, that goes for this and all the other stories. I just get busy sometimes - university life! _

_That said, I seemed to have progressively lost more and more of my marbles, tools in my shed, cards in my deck, fries in my Happy Meal, whathaveyou, this past week. Hopefully this remedies itself, although I think it was this (temporary?) self-proclaimed madness that fueled the writing of this, so...yay madness? Now I'm just picturing myself sitting next to Johanna in Bedlam before Antony comes to rescue us and take us to Sweeney's Barber Shop. It's very strange, I have my laptop and she's proofreading my fanfics...(d'you see what I mean? MAD.) Gadzooks, I hope this chapter all makes sense. I'm rather fond of it myself._

_Enjoy!_

* * *

><p>Overall, Darren didn't act much differently than normal. Then again, Chris was still having trouble figuring out what a "normal" Darren was. He might have even missed all of the small things he'd been doing differently if Chris hadn't been looking out for them.<p>

As it was, Chris didn't even realize that they were things he would miss until they stopped altogether when Darren went to film _Imogene_. "I would have missed him anyway," Chris muttered to himself grumpily as he got ready the morning after Darren left, which was a little early to be feeling separation anxiety, in his unsettled opinion. If Darren had been there, Chris would have woken up to a cheery knock and a hot tea or coffee waiting for him. Without him, Chris had to make it himself, which was considerably less exciting.

He trudged his way across set, feet dragging. If Darren had been there, Chris thought, he wouldn't have been nearly so groggy. He wouldn't have even had to say anything; Darren's presence alone would have been enough to infuse Chris with some vigor, as if by diffusion.

"Hi," he grumbled to his cast mates as he plopped himself in a chair to be made over.

"Already having a bad day?" Lea asked him from his left.

"I'm not having a bad day."

"Well, you look a little bit tired…"

"Lea!" Chris put on a phony smile and waved his hands around dramatically. "I'm not having a bad day. See? Happy Chris." He heard Mark's snicker from the other side of the room. "What?"

"Oh nothing," Mark replied. "You're just being extra grumpy, even for someone going through withdrawals."

Chris massaged his temple. "Excuse me? Withdrawals?"

"You can have withdrawals from all sorts of things. I guess Darren is like some sort of upper, so that's why you're being such a grouch. He's only been gone half a day, too."

Lea's gape slowly turned into a smile. "You never cease to amaze me with your insight," she told Mark.

He acknowledged her with a shrug and a martyred sigh. "I do my best. I have many years of wisdom, Young Padawan."

Chris rolled his eyes and refused to reply. Mark and Lea then settled into a debate over exactly which type of upper Darren could be equated to. "You might want to use the no smudge makeup," Chris told the makeup artist. "I have a feeling that I'll be rubbing my temples quite a bit today."

* * *

><p>Thankfully, Chris had a relatively short day. He only had one song sequence to film, and he had recorded the actual song earlier that week. If Darren had been there, he would have known in advance when Chris's day ended, and unless his own schedule prevented it, he would have met him and hauled him off to watch Star Wars or Harry Potter for the millionth time, or randomly struck up a debate about whether <em>Wicked<em> could be considered canon for _The Wizard of Oz_. And, Chris thought resolutely, he _really_ needed to stop thinking about everything Darren would do if he wasn't in New York, probably making out with Kristin Wiig at that very moment. But Chris was definitely not jealous. Definitely not, because Darren's plan was still equally as nonsensical as it had been from day one, and his "steps" were far from working.

In spite of his new position as token radical idea proposer, Darren was probably Chris's best friend. He had Lea for his Broadway facet. He had Amber for his diva facet. He had Cory for his humor facet. Darren didn't fit just one facet. He encompassed all of them, including and especially the nerdy pastimes and off-kilter humor that had been with Chris since before Glee. He would have missed Darren regardless, Chris told himself. It didn't mean that the man's inane plan was working.

The few short days (which seemed to take up half of Chris's young life regardless) between when Darren left and when he came back were peppered with texts:

_AHH! Defying Gravity just came on shuffle. The Glee version, don't tell Idina._

_(Kurt's solo version…don't tell Lea.)_

_I kid you not, I just saw your twin in Central Park. But then he turned around and had a swirly French mustache :(_

_Asdjhasjkhydiuahsuidsa! Kristin said she ships Klaine! :O_

_Someone just asked the crew to keep Doritos off of the set before kissing scenes D: I blame you._

_Totally saw Patti Lupone on the street…ran toward her, tripped over my own feet and face planted…advanced undeterred for your sake…realized it was a wax figure :( WOE IS ME._

_They only put organic foods in my dressing room…WHAT DOES IT MEAN?_

Every single one solicited a laugh from Chris. He was grateful for them, because for some reason, he couldn't get up the guts to actually call the other man. What would he _say_? So he settled for the periodic, humorous text communication and subtle anticipation of the time Darren would return, which ended up creeping upon him closer than he had hoped.

* * *

><p>The day Darren was supposed to return started with a flurry of knocks on his door. Chris's heart rose before he remembered that Darren was probably on a plane at that very moment. But, when he opened the door, it was Darren who stood there. "Dare? What are you doing here?" he asked.<p>

"I caught an early plane," he replied, stepping inside and letting his bag thump onto the floor. "Ah, it feels so good to be home!"

"Darren," Chris said slowly, a smile slowly twisting his lips. "This is _my_ home."

"Same thing."

Chris's gaze travelled to the bag Darren had dropped. "Have you even been to your own place yet?"

"Nope. I do have priorities," Darren said, returning the smile.

"Technically, skewered priorities are still priorities."

Darren nodded acquiescently. "You look nice, by the way. Grunge was totally nineties, but I think you might be onto something with this new age sleepwear grunge thing. Fashion for America's lazy youth – I can see it now."

"Oh be quiet," Chris said, prodding Darren inside the door the rest of the way and shutting it behind him. "You know very well that you woke me up."

"I know," Darren said with a suggestive waggle of his eyebrows. He squeaked when Chris elbowed his side. "I'm sure you had to get up soon anyway. We're getting new scripts today!"

"You're working today?" Chris asked, wincing in sympathy. "Ouch, that's rough."

"Not really," Darren said with a shrug. "It's just recording. A full schedule is like a full tank of gas."

"To _you_ maybe," Chris said, ducking into his bedroom to select a shirt and jeans. "To the rest of the world, a full schedule is just a full schedule, and it slowly sucks the life out of you."

"Gee, you're in a happy mood," Darren said, raising his voice slightly as Chris closed the door to get changed. "Any particular reason, Sunshine?"

"I've been having a rough couple days," Chris confessed. He opened his door to glare at Darren. "I missed you."

Darren placed his hand over his heart and smiled the cheesiest smile Chris had ever seen. "That's touching, especially with the accompanying hostile tone. Ah well, I missed you, too."

Chris didn't realize he was smiling idiotically until he grew cognizant of the silence that stretched between them like a gulf. He cleared his throat and gestured toward the door. "Shall we?"

"We shall," Darren said, skipping toward the door.

"Oh sure, go ahead and leave your things here," Chris teased as he exited and locked the door behind them. "You can come back tonight and get them."

"My thoughts exactly," Darren declared, either not picking up on the sarcasm or not acknowledging it. "We have to read over the new script together, of course."

Of course, Chris silently agreed. Secretly, he was rather pleased that Darren wanted to read the new script together. Because it was nice to be able to bounce ideas off of one another when their character's interacted, Chris thought. Definitely not because his plan was working.

* * *

><p>"Oh my God." Darren stared straight ahead at the wall, amber eyes wide.<p>

Sitting opposite him, Ryan Murphy raised one eyebrow a fraction of an inch, but remained virtually expressionless. "And you're the one who's supposedly good with words," he said, flat tone not betraying either annoyance or amusement. "You might as well get it all out of your system now," his eyes shot to Chris, "_both_ of you."

"_Oh my God_," Darren said again, a bit louder.

Chris thought it was to his immense credit that he managed not to say anything at all, and that the pounding that took up residence in his head didn't conk him out right on the spot.

The corners of Ryan's mouth tipped up fractionally, and Chris immediately knew that the man must have been anticipating their reactions to his news all day long. He thought it was positively sadistic of him, and if Chris wasn't so shocked, he'd have admitted to feeling impressed as well as a little bit jealous. "You're the first ones who're seeing this," Ryan confessed. "Obviously, you're going to be the two who will receive the most attention in the episode and out of it. I know I didn't write it myself, but I can still change things around. Honestly though, I'd rather not. Yours is an important story. It's a story that _needs_ to be told."

"Oh my God!" Chris turned around to glare at Darren, who didn't even have the grace to look a little bit ashamed that his wide, shocked gaze had turned into one of unadulterated excitement. "This is so amazing! I – I mean…you guys will do it amazingly, I just know it. People have been waiting for this for so long!"

"Excuse me for being a bit dubious," Chris said suspiciously, still glaring as he turned away from Darren to look at Ryan, who was surveying his reaction with an open, curious expression. "We don't need to give people more fuel to light the fire they have going under our asses, and they _will_ try to. I hate to be pessimistic when it comes to trusting people's humanity over their prejudices, but I've learned through hard experience that just because you're human doesn't make humanity inherent in you."

"Think about it," Ryan said, pressing the pads of his fingers together thoughtfully. "Weigh the pros and cons. On the one hand, you're right. On the other hand, positive change doesn't come if you simply wait for it to happen. People have been pushing the boundaries for centuries. Did the thirteenth century Englishmen complain within their own circles and drop subtle hints that they were tired of being oppressed? No, they forced King John into a corner and demanded that he sign the Magna Carter. Did American colonists sit back and ask nicely for representation while Britain flexed their rule over them? No, they drafted the Declaration of Independence and started the American Revolution."

"You're comparing objecting to a feudalistic kingship and the founding of the United States to an episode of _Glee_?" Chris asked skeptically.

"No. I'm juxtaposing the message we give to the future generation with what's considered socially acceptable now, and how if we succeed in opening up people's minds, that norm of social acceptance might change with the future."

Chris grumbled a bit and crossed his arms over his chest, reluctant to admit that Ryan's words actually made startling sense.

"I think it's an awesome plot," Darren enthused. "Young people, gay _and_ straight, should know that it's alright to be intimate. Gay kids especially should know that it isn't something that has to be feared, or avoided."

Ryan beamed at him, showing more emotion in that one expression than he had the entire day, which made Chris irrationally angry. "That's _nice_, Darren," he said bitingly. "But you've never had to worry about being in a situation like this before. _I _have." He turned his attention to Ryan. "This is treading the thinnest line that you've ever attempted to, that you ever could have _thought_ of. Think, for a moment, if you get it _wrong_ – if you go overboard with your ambitions. How do you think kids will react when they see this thing portrayed in such a way, and then hear all the negative things being said about it? There _will_ be negative things."

Darren didn't respond to Chris, but Chris had seen his cheeks light up when Chris called him out, and he crossed his arms over his chest as if to hold something in. Ryan merely tilted his head and observed Chris as if he didn't quite understand what to make of him. "You seem to be forgetting that you and I _both_ had to worry about being in a situation like that before, Chris."

Now it was Chris's turn to blush, and he did so immediately, ducking his head. "I didn't mean that you didn't understand. I – I know you did."

"Take the script home," Ryan said with a tone of finality has he pushed the two scripts toward Darren and Chris. "Read them over. Maybe enact some of the scenes. We'll see what happens from there."

Chris knew that meant that Ryan was expecting him to read the script and be magically won over by the brilliance of the words on the page, but he was still doubtful. He snatched the script off of the table and exited the room without another word to either of them.

Behind him, he heard Darren murmuring indistinctly to Ryan, no doubt assuring him that he would talk sense into Chris. Soon after, he heard the sound of running feet pattering after him down the hallway.

"You sure left in a hurry," Darren said, slowing to a walk and falling into step with Chris.

"I don't have anything else to say," Chris said flatly.

He and Darren walked in silence, both in unspoken agreement as to their destination. They reached Chris's car and Darren hopped into the passenger seat. "Forgive me for asking," Darren said carefully. "But did you even…I mean, did you know about your…preferences when you were Kurt's age? Is this why you're so upset? Because you think that…I don't know, that his life is moving faster than yours is?"

Chris clenched his jaw and reflected vaguely on the fact that he must have set some sort of record for patience today; the fact that he was keeping the car steady and perfectly within the speed limit was a bona fide miracle. "Stop talking," he said tightly, effectively shutting Darren up. A few minutes passed in silence before Chris couldn't take it any longer. "I was short, a bit chubby, obsessed with musical theatre, and talked like Mickey Mouse, Darren. The entire school knew about my preferences."

"But did _you_?" Chris's gaze tore away from the road for a brief second to look at Darren, but it was long enough to see his large amber eyes open with what was undeniably concern.

"I don't know," Chris finally said, quite honestly. "All I knew was that I wasn't like other boys. And…and that I didn't think everyone was right when they used to call me…well…"

Chris heard Darren let out a soft noise of disbelief, and he could imagine that the other man was shaking his head. "Sometimes, I can't decide who had it worse, you or Kurt."

"Well I wasn't sexually assaulted, if that helps," Chris suggested dryly.

"You didn't have a Blaine though," Darren supplied. "If in some alternate universe, if I was a few years younger and happened to be going to that school at the same time as you…I don't know. Maybe I could have been your Blaine. I hope I could have been."

"People say that to me all the time," Chris said, turning off the engine of his car as they reached the sidewalk outside his home. "It doesn't take a psychic to know that if they had actually been there, they'd have been laughing along with everyone else."

Darren was silent a moment, and Chris realized that they were both still sitting in the motionless car with their seat buckles still on. "You really think I would have been one of those people?" he asked.

"We'll never get to know." Even as he spoke, Chris knew that he was lying. He did know, and he knew that Darren never would have been one of those people. Suddenly, the thought occurred to him that Darren was _still_ trying to be his Blaine. Wasn't that the whole premise of his asinine plan? He wanted to be the buffer system between Chris and what had the potential to hurt him in the future. Chris was almost tempted to share his revelation, but held back when Darren spoke.

"We're not Kurt and Blaine, Chris," he said quietly. "I did wonder, the moment Ryan told us, if you might be uncomfortable with Blaine and Kurt being intimate because of what's happening…between us."

"Nothing is happening between us," Chris said. "You want to protect me, I get it. But like you said…we aren't Kurt and Blaine. I don't know what you hope to accomplish with whatever you're trying to do. If you're trying to validate yourself…or – or dabble…"

"You should know," Darren continued, speaking over Chris. "That you don't have to worry about anything. You don't have to worry about me. I'm a professional, Chris. I'm an _actor_."

Chris's brow knit together, wondering why this suddenly sounded remarkably like the preamble to a break up. They weren't even _together_. He didn't even like Darren, and his plan was definitely not working. He opened his mouth to shoot back that Darren was the last thing he was worrying about when something altogether different burst forth: "What if I can't do it?" Chris clapped his hand over his mouth, appalled that he'd spoken, but his heart raced on and his mouth kept moving. "What if I mess this whole thing up? I've never been in love with someone like Kurt is in love Blaine. I've…I've never had someone to be like that with, someone I trusted with every fiber of my being, someone I wanted to give myself to completely. I won't know what I'm doing, and what if I do it _wrong_? What if I mess it up? What if the whole thing is a disaster and it's my fault? With the weight of what this would mean sitting on my shoulders…I – I just don't think…I don't see how I could possibly live up to anyone's expectations. I don't know the first thing about what we'll need to try and show in the scene. I don't mean the physical stuff, but…just the _emotions_…" More embarrassed than he thought he had ever been in his entire life, Chris blushed from his collarbone to the roots of his hair.

Feeling suddenly overheated, he flung his door open and hopped out of his car. Arms crossed tightly over his chest, Chris walked away until he reached the side of his building, where he leaned sideways against the wall. Behind him, he heard the click of the car lock and the closing door that meant Darren had also left the car.

He expected Darren to laugh. He expected Darren to watch him judgmentally through narrowed eyes. He expected Darren to turn up his nose because, as he claimed, he was an _actor_ who could successfully separate his personal life from his characters, while Chris couldn't. What he did not expect was the soft hand on his shoulder that turned him around until they were facing one another. What he did not expect were the warm fingers under his chin, tilting his head up from where he stared fixedly at the ground until blue met amber.

"I have never – _never_ – seen someone who cares more about their character's wellbeing than you do," Darren said softly. "You're the perfect Kurt, Chris. You're perfect for each other. You're not…stinting him, or whatever you're trying to get at. You enhance him, you bring him to life. That's…what you're worried about? Not being able to do Kurt justice because of things you haven't experienced?"

Chris didn't answer. Everything over the last few days and weeks was making less and less sense in his mind. In a way, Darren's radical plan was an attempt to show him a glimpse of what there was to experience. Chris still didn't understand the logic. Emotion was what Darren wanted to achieve with that, so that Chris's first true emotional attachment would be with someone who wouldn't break his heart for their five minutes of fame. But wouldn't a heart be broken all the same? If Darren wanted to show Chris what love really was like…but it would only be a glimpse. It was the Great Paradox that Chris couldn't wrap his mind around. Darren would become the very thing he wanted Chris to escape from.

Yet, Darren was his Blaine. At least, he was the closest thing he had to one. Their interesting personal juxtaposition, combined with Ryan's big script reveal, seemed like a bad joke played by the universe. How to get all of those thoughts into words that Darren would understand was the part Chris struggled with.

He wanted to say something profound to Darren. He wanted to say something about the weight he carried on his shoulders, and his responsibility to the community he represented, but he couldn't muster the presence of mind to wrap his head around those heavy ideas. "Yes," he said finally. "Yes, that's what I'm worried about."

A long moment stretched out in which Darren didn't say anything. Chris almost jumped when he felt the callused pad of Darren's thumb brush across his cheekbone. His blue eyes snapped open and fixed on Darren's amber ones. Chris tensed, but he didn't move away. Darren's thumb continued to run across his cheekbone several times, then down the plane of his jaw, then across the point of his chin, from which he pulled his hand backed to himself. Chris was surprised to notice that the place Darren's hand had moved away from suddenly felt extra cold in the autumn air.

"I think you're forgetting one little thing," Darren pointed out, his voice soft. If Chris hadn't known better, he might have said that Darren sounded almost tender.

"W-What's that?" Chris couldn't find the motivation to be ashamed for sounding rather breathless. He chalked it up to stress, and nothing – _nothing_ – more.

"Well, you've got me, haven't you?" Darren asked. The hand that had previously traced a path down Chris's face reached out just briefly, until their fingers brushed together, but he didn't grab his hand. "Maybe you've conveniently forgotten, but I don't know how to do this either."

Chris frowned slightly. "I haven't forgotten."

Darren sighed. Chris knew what Darren meant but part of him still felt like being irritable. "I don't mean it in that way. I mean…I've never had a Kurt, either. Hell, I don't think I've ever been in love with someone like those two are in love with each other. I should only be so lucky that I'll find someone to be like that with before I die."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying," Darren said, stepping closer. "That you're never _alone_ Chris, not anymore. You don't have to worry about what people will say about the scene. You don't have to worry about not living up to what you've come to expect from yourself as Kurt. You've got me in all of this, haven't you?"

"Uh…yes?" Chris answered, feeling like he was jabbing in the dark at an obscure question asked by a teacher.

"Right. This is supposed to be a _happy_ thing, Chris, not something to dread and anticipate until you've worried so many wrinkles into your face that you look evens less like a teenager than Mark." Chris let out a startled bark of laughter. The sound was loud and abrupt in the otherwise quiet atmosphere. "So, you and I are a team. I was too late to be your Blaine in high school, but nothing can stop me from trying to be it now. Also, I need to get my bag before I conclude this speech and walk off with a self-satisfied air only to be severely humbled when I realize I've left all my clothes at your house and have to come trudging back."

Just like that, Darren had broken the strange tension that Chris had felt begun to buzz around them when he had touched his face, his hand, and had stepped closer. Just like that, Darren was back to being Darren and Chris was left wondering if he had been talking about the characters and the show, or about something else entirely.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Nonsensical? Sensical? (I don't actually think sensical is a word...) Love it? Hate it? Like it moderately but think I'm suddenly off my rocker? Can't say I blame you, but drop a wee note about it in a review :) _

_Er...also, this isn't over. I thought I'd just clear that up in case I haven't. It isn't close to over (hopefully that's good news) and I promise that I'll always state very clearly when a longer fic like this is coming to a close :)_

_On a more sincere, totally non-crazy note, thanks immensely for reading, and I hope you all enjoyed it! :D_


	4. Chapter 4 :: I Think I See Clearly

_A/N: Sorry about the wait, as always, but I hope everyone likes this chapter! It didn't really go where I was intending, but there you have it! Leave me a note after your read and let me know what you thought! :D_

_Enjoy! _

* * *

><p>After Darren had grabbed his bags, they decided not to read over the script that night. Secretly, Darren was glad for that. He hoped he hadn't shown it, but inside he had been absolutely freaking out during his serious conversation with Chris. Even now, as he sat in a cab bound for his own home, half of what had happened felt surreal and fuzzy, like a dream. He'd finally been able to relate to Chris what he had hoped to accomplish by offering his plan. He wanted to be his Blaine. That's what he wanted.<p>

Yet, as Darren had spoken those words, he'd felt something else, something different. When he'd thought up the plan, he had wanted to be Chris's "Never Been Kissed" Blaine. He'd wanted to be the one who helped him when no one else would, and stuck with him in the face of danger. He essentially wanted to be a fictional character, and in the back of his head, Darren knew how ridiculous and probably unhealthy that was. Yet in those moments, he realized that Blaine hadn't stayed the way he was in "Never Been Kissed". He and Kurt had fallen in love. As he'd been looking at Chris, as his hand had stretched out to draw fingertips slowly across Chris's angelically carved face as if of their own accord, Darren realized that Kurt and Blaine had fallen in _love_.

So, he was glad that they hadn't decided to run lines. When they'd gotten to the house, he hadn't gone inside. Chris had said, "Just a second," and fetched Darren's bag. He'd given it to him at the door. There had been a quiet goodbye and a few seconds of prolonged eye contact. There had been no hug, as Darren might have carelessly given him a few months ago. There had been nothing. Darren hadn't looked back as he walked away to the curb to wait for the cab. He hadn't heard the door close, so he knew that he didn't dare look over his shoulder for fear of what he might do or say. He imagined Chris watching him as he walked away, wondering what the hell was going through his head. Darren was starting to wonder that himself.

He found himself in his home, on his bed, wondering about tomorrow – the day they'd pegged to go over the script together. He couldn't tell if Chris had wanted to put it off longer or not, but they couldn't afford to. Things moved unbelievably fast on set, and not even a moment could be wasted in which they might have been accomplishing things. What would they _practice_? It was an episode about sex, for goodness sake. He supposed that they'd just run through the conversations and leave everything else for in front of the cameras. There was a line to be crossed or not. They hadn't practiced their characters' first kiss either. Neither of them had talked about it with each other, but Darren had felt like they'd had an unspoken understanding. It had been Kurt and Blaine's first kiss, so it should be _their_ first kiss.

Darren sighed in frustration and rolled over in bed. He pulled a pillow over his head, as if he could block out his thoughts like a sound. It didn't work. He swung his feet out of bed and pattered to the kitchen, his feet making soft sounds on the hardwood floor. He grabbed a clean glass and poured himself some cold water from the refrigerator.

"Are you okay?" A soft voice spoke from across the room, making Darren practically jump out of his skin. Joey stood in his doorway, swaying slightly from sleep and rubbing his eyes. His hair was sticking straight up on the left side of his head. Darren knew it was because Joey took a shower before bed and always went to sleep on his left side, so his hair dried on the pillow like that. It was strange, he thought, to have someone in your life that you knew so well, but he couldn't even open his mouth to tell him the truth.

"Can I talk to you?" Darren blurted out, willing himself to overcome the urge to say yes and hide in his bedroom.

"Of course," Joey said immediately. "Hang on a sec." He dodged into his room and came back out pulling a shirt over his head. "For some reason, your tone tells me that this is a serious, need-a-shirt kind of conversation."

Darren gave a half-laugh. "I don't know," he said noncommittally. He sat on a reclining chair that they had named Rosie and tucked his legs up beneath him.

Joey took a seat on the couch adjacent, ran a hand through his hair so that both sides stuck up, and looked at Darren for a few moments, waiting for him to speak, which he didn't. "So?" Joey prompted. "You probably have to get up early tomorrow…I mean, you don't even have time to sleep here at night much and I know that you just got back from the film early this morning. That's why I came out to ask."

"I just needed to sleep in my own bed," Darren said, picking at a seam on Rosie. "Which isn't really working." He groaned suddenly and face planted into the pillow that he'd been clutching to his stomach.

"Do I need to make tea?" Joey asked after a lengthy pause.

"No," Darren said. He sounded like a child, even to his own ears. He was a fully grown man, damn it, he shouldn't be having ridiculous problems like this. "Maybe you can just…I don't know, I can't just say it. Can you ask questions until you get warmer?"

Joey, to his credit, didn't complain or put up any objection. He didn't mention that it was going on three in the morning. "Okay," he said slowly. "So, something's obviously bothering you, but you can't talk about it. Is your brother okay?"

"He's fine."

"Your parents?"

"They're fine. It isn't family related."

"Not family related," Joey mused. "Then I guess that it's Glee related?" Darren made a noncommittal noise that sufficed as confirmation. "You're mad that unless you have a Bizarro World themed episode, Blaine can't kiss Rachel again?"

"What? No, that's so random," Darren said, looking up from the pillow.

Joey shrugged. "I don't have a lot to work with, bro. Fine then, it isn't that. Is it about something in an upcoming episode?" Darren made the noise again and put his head back down. "Something to do with Blaine, then?" Darren made the noise. "Something to do with Kurt CoBlaine?"

"Okay," Darren said, lifting his head once more. "Unfortunately, no one calls it that. If Ian can't have Santittany, I don't think I can ever make Kurt CoBlaine happen. Also, yes."

"We have a word in affirmation!" Joey said excitedly. "Now we're getting somewhere. It's to do with Glee; it's to do with Blaine, and it's to do with Kurt." He paused and made his serious thinking noise. Darren knew from experience and many stressful finals that it sounded like the popping noise the shrimp made in Finding Nemo, but Joey would never admit to it because he didn't even realize he was doing it. "Dude, I have no idea, can't you just tell me?"

"Yeah," Darren said quietly. He hadn't expected to get anywhere with the guessing game. It was wishful thinking. "I think I might have done something stupid."

"_Wow_," Joey said sarcastically. "That's new. That's really new. You've absolutely never done that before."

"I'm serious," Darren said, effectively shutting his friend up. "Something properly, _properly_ stupid. You know how people…say things about me and Chris?"

Joey nodded carefully. "Yeah, but I never thought you had a problem with that. I thought you guys joked about that all the time. Like you said in that interview a while back –"

"Therein lays the beginning of the problem," Darren said. "I think I might've…stepped a little _too_ far." Joey nodded. "Chris wasn't happy about it."

"That was forever ago in Glee time. How is that still a problem?"

"That wasn't the stupid thing," Darren said carefully. "The stupid thing was…well, I asked why he was upset…long story, but it came out to something more or less like how he didn't like the fact that he'd never had an official boyfriend before, and people thought that I was his first."

"Well, you aren't," Joey said with a shrug. "I still don't see what's wrong, Dare. Fans just talk, you know that's how it is. You're not and you can't control what people say, so don't worry about it and tell Chris not to either." Darren watched him with large eyes. "You're not…Dare? _Darren_? You aren't, right?"

"I might've…thought it was a good idea to…oh God, this sounds so horrible when I try to explain it."

"Try a little harder," Joey said, sitting up straighter.

"Things basically wound up to me being worried for Chris because of his anxiety surrounding that whole issue. He's really insecure about his love life. I don't want someone to hurt him the first time he falls in love. He'd hate it if he knew I said this, but I think he's kind of fragile. You know how it is. Your first time around, you don't really know what's going on and you end up being crushed when it ends. The first time is the hardest, and I want his to be as easy as possible, you know what I mean, Joey? I'm scared for him I guess. I didn't want someone using him when he's never really been with anyone emotionally before. What if that happens and the other person _is_ just using him? What if he gets _really_ hurt?"

Joey's gaze had softened as Darren spoke. "Well if he's still got friends like you, Dare…"

"It's me," Darren interrupted again. "I said I'd be that person. I wouldn't be using him for fame. I wouldn't just leave. I could…I don't know, _save_ him from all of those people. He'd be with one of his friends, who loves him, and –"

"Who loves him, Darren, or who _loves_ him?" Joey interrupted. "What the hell did Chris say when you said all of this to him?"

"Basically that I was being an idiot and it wouldn't work anyways, because it wouldn't be something that meant anything," Darren said quietly. "I guess in concept that defeats the purpose. This doesn't even make sense."

"No," Joey agreed. "It doesn't make a whole lot of sense. But…that isn't really true, what he said, is it? About meaning something?"

Darren took a deep breath. "Not at first. I mean, no…well, maybe. God, I don't know. I think that I thought that it would just be safe. We're comfortable together. Maybe I just wanted to show him that being with someone doesn't have to be some big thing."

"The fact that you even offered," Joey started contemplatively. "The fact that the first thing you thought of to protect him was _you_ being that first person…what do you think that means?" Darren didn't answer. "Did you know that there wasn't any way 'just friends' could stay a thing if what you wanted to happen actually happened? Were you willing to be with someone…kiss them, go on a date, snuggle, _whatever,_ if you didn't feel anything romantic for them…if you thought you were just friends?"

"I don't know," Darren whispered. "Who would do that?"

"Dare. You didn't want Chris's first legitimate relationship to be someone that would break his heart if he fell in love with him. You didn't want him to get hurt, so you proposed that it should be you." Joey paused. "Does that make sense, Dare? If, and I'm not saying it would, but _if_ this worked, since you say that you were doing it as a friend to protect him, wouldn't he get hurt all the same if you left?"

"I – I don't know," Darren stuttered.

"That's what you planned, isn't it? That his first relationship wouldn't break his heart? If it was with someone who only ever saw him as a friend he was trying to protect, don't you think that would break it all the same?" Joey surveyed Darren, who was looking at his toes. Joey did this when he was advising someone. He phrased his assumptions in questions that he didn't want answers to. "Unless…unless that person didn't see him only as a friend." Joey concluded his analysis quietly, in a hesitant whisper.

"Kurt and Blaine have a really big storyline next script. We were supposed to go over it today, but we got to talking. I don't know, Joey," Darren said. "We were outside of his house, and I just reached up and touched his face, his chin, his cheek, his jaw." He looked up at Joey hopelessly. "I don't know _what_ I was thinking in that moment. I felt like I should be acting as Blaine and he as Kurt because of all of these weird things I was suddenly feeling…except I still felt like Darren and he was definitely still Chris. What does that _mean_?"

Joey's mouth curved into a small smile. "I think it means that Darren and Chris are different than Kurt and Blaine," he said, "and that you realize that, and it doesn't change anything. I think you sound like you know what it means."

"_Shit,_" Darren cursed. "This wasn't supposed to be like this, you know."

"Are you sure it wasn't just lying dormant so to speak?" Joey asked with the half-smile still on his face. "That plan was crazy. I don't know what degree of denial would allow you to think that it made any sense at all. I have a question though, if you don't mind?"

"I don't think I could get any lower or more self-conscious that I am _right_ now," Darren said flatly. "Ask away."

"I know you did some stuff in college," Joey said. "I mean, we all did a little bit. Experimenting is what college is _for_. I never thought that you were ever seriously into any guy before, though."

"I wasn't," Darren said, leaning his head back on the seat. "This is the first one." His eyes widened and Joey's smile grew. "Holy _shit_, I just said that out loud. This is the first one. This is the first one."

"This is the first one," Joey repeated with a chuckle. "You don't seem surprised."

Darren shook his head. "No. But I do think that I'm surprised that I'm not surprised." He looked at Joey. "What am I supposed to do tomorrow? We're supposed to run through the scenes."

Joey shrugged. "In spite of the fact that you seem to think that you mess everything up and your tendency to not think things completely through, you really do usually make wise choices, Darren. And, if it helps, it seems like you've actually been thinking about this a lot."

Darren thought back to his time on _Imogene_ and his insane urge to send Chris text messages that would make him laugh. Some of them hadn't even been completely true – he'd embellished on them because he could imagine how Chris's lips would widen and he would let out that strange halting laugh that he gave, which almost sounded fake. He thought back to how he'd gone straight to Chris's house today when he got back instead of going to his own home first. He'd been thinking about it a lot and he hadn't even realized it.

"Whatever happens will happen," Joey said. "If you think that you should tell him tomorrow – the _truth_ – then do it. Don't keep it a secret if you'll just regret hiding it later."

"Shit, that's intimidating," Darren said. He was only freaking out minimally, which he thought he should be commended on. He finally stood. "Okay, I've been up for like thirty hours and I will absolutely die if I don't get some sleep." Joey laughed and stood up. "Joey?" Darren asked, halting his friend's progress back to his own bed. Joey looked back at him questioningly. "Thank you…for listening. I mean, the fact that you were willing to just sit there, listen, ask questions, and be torturously patient while I had a minor existential crisis…I don't think many people would do that. Thank you."

"You'd do that, Darren," Joey said with a grin, "and you're welcome." He yawned and nodded as he turned back into his room.

Darren lowered himself into his bed for the second time with more ease of mind than he'd had the first. Someone knew. Someone who wasn't the deepest recesses of his own mind knew. Darren still wasn't sure what was going on. He didn't quite know what he was feeling, and he didn't know Chris would react if he told him the truth. All he knew was that when he finally went to bed, he fell asleep soundly knowing that tomorrow, as Joey had said, whatever happened would happen.


	5. Chapter 5 :: Make It Into More

_A/N: It's Friday night, I should be studying for my Italian final tomorrow, so naturally I'm writing CrissColfer fanfiction. Naturally._

_Enjoy!_

* * *

><p>It would be fine. Now, in the light of the new morning, Chris didn't know why he ever thought that it wouldn't be. He wanted to laugh as he got ready when he remembered how he had quietly requested that they not go over the script that night. He'd been afraid – afraid of what? The new morning said it was nothing.<p>

It was a day as usual. Darren had looked tired as a portion of the cast got outfitted in costume and makeup, making his makeup artist to cluck disapprovingly and break out the cover up. Neither he nor Chris had a big scene before their _big_ scene to be filmed in a week. They were called into different places regardless – to watch another actor film a song, or to do a behind the scenes interview – so that by the end of the day, they were far from rested.

"Must. Need. Food," Darren grumbled as he dragged himself after Chris. To his credit, Darren hadn't acted strange…or, any stranger than usual. Chris hadn't been expecting it, but bright and early a flurry of knocks had landed on his door and Darren had been there with two chai teas. The day had proceeded completely normally up until then, the time in which they would return to Chris's to finally practice the script.

"If you wait _one_ hour, we can order dinner," Chris said, looking at his watch. "It's that weird halfway time right now. Even retirement homes are just starting to break out their evening prunes."

"I would eat prunes right now," Darren said seriously as he buckled himself and Chris started driving. "Mushed up purple goo, crushed into a sickening liquid so my poor toothless gums can masticate it into something digestible –"

"Ew! Ew, ew, stop it," Chris said with a laugh. "Masticate, Darren? Really?"

"It means chew!"

"I _know_ what it means," Chris said, feeling his cheeks heat up slightly. "I'm sure I have something at home to tide you over."

"No, there!" Darren cried out, pointing. "There, there, there – go there!"

"You have _got _to be –"

"_Nooooo!_"

"Alright! I'll turn around." Five minutes and three dollars later, they were back in the car, both with sizeable Slurpee's in their hands.

"Mhmm," Darren hummed knowingly, glancing at Chris's Slurpee.

Chris flushed – why on Earth? – and rolled his eyes. "They had the Diet Coke flavor. How was I not supposed to get one?"

Darren didn't say anything to that, which Chris thought was odd. He just grinned, ducked his head, and continued sipping.

It was only once they got into Chris's house that he realized Darren was no longer acting normal. He insisted on finishing their Slurpee's first while they watched a movie. Then, when they were done, they couldn't just turn _off_ the movie because it was _X-Men: First Class_ and no one, _no one_ turned off _X-Men_, no matter what they had to do for work.

Two hours later, their stomachs were properly grumbling and Darren offered to run down the street to get dinner from a nearby deli. In his absence, Chris realized that they were going on three hours without reading the scripts, that Darren had been quick to suggest other things to do – _anything_ else to do – and that Chris himself had been equally as quick to accept. He resolved to change that.

When Darren returned fifteen minutes later, Chris had the two scripts in hand. He swapped one of the two deli bags in Darren's hand for one of them.

"But, but, but, but…_food_," Darren said, bottom lip pouting and eyes widening.

Chris shook his finger. "Put the puppy dog face away, Dare. It won't work." As an answer, Darren made a truly pathetic whimpering noise. Chris faltered but regained his resolve. "Do you want me to whack you on the nose with a rolled up newspaper? Because I will."

A smile tugged at the corner of Darren's lips. "Would you really?"

"_Yes_. You do realize that if we don't memorize this by next week and therefore can't film it, we'll be in…you see, I can't even find words to express that amount of trouble."

Darren scoffed. "Oh come on. Me maybe, but they would _never_ fire you." Chris didn't deign him with a response, but fixed him with a serious look. Darren sighed, set the deli bag down, and plopped onto the couch.

"Thank you," Chris said, glancing at him. He thought he saw Darren's eyes skitter away from him as he looked toward him, but in the next moment Chris thought that he must have imagined it. "Are you worried?"

Darren shrugged noncommittally, not looking at Chris. "Sure, I guess. Why not? People will freak the hell out."

"And I got accosted by Ryan earlier today," Chris said, tucking his feet up under him. "Apparently the car scene isn't on a set. We'll be on location somewhere, which means fans."

"No pressure," Darren said quietly. "So…you just want to run through the different scenes, then? Maybe work out where we'll be standing?"

"Yeah," Chris said, "or not standing, I suppose." They flipped to their first scene, and Chris tried to think up excuses for the sudden butterflies in his stomach as they began their read through.

They had read through several times, and Chris was trying to complete a scene without being prompted by lines. He didn't have any trouble remembering which one came next, because it still made him blush every time. "I mean like…sexually. We _are_ playing it very safe by not allowing our hands visas to travel south of the equator."

"I thought that's what we wanted?" Darren hadn't put down the script. Chris had learned from his StarKid friends that Darren tended not to learn lines fully, but rather he showed up on the day of and somehow fumbled through. His amber eyes flicked up to Chris but immediately went back to the page. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Chris wondered if the script wasn't just serving as a means by which he didn't have to look at Chris.

"It is," Chris said. "I'm just wondering." Words clogged in his throat for a moment and he had to pause to regain them, although his brain knew them all by heart. "Have you ever had the urge to just rip off each other's clothes and get dirty?" He could actually feel his heart in his ears, which was strange. He made a mental note to Google _heart connected to ears_ later.

"Uh, yeah, but that's why they invented masturbation. God, they're really going to make Blaine say that?" Darren said, looking up.

"Darren!" Chris said. "We were doing fine. Come on."

"Fine, fine," Darren said, looking back at the pages. "Okay, blah, blah, that's why they invented masturbation."

Chris wished he was a good enough actor to maintain that the blush on his cheeks was just Kurt's, and that he was working up a little over heatedness for Kurt's sake. Sadly, it wasn't true. "It's so hot in this room, can we…can we open up a window?"

Darren put down the script. The Darren of the previous second had been half-effort Darren. The Darren facing him now was full-intensity Darren, and just when Chris had thought his heart couldn't possibly get any louder or beat any harder, it did. "Hey, I'm serious," Darren said, moving closer to Chris on the couch. "I mean, we're young, we're in high school, and yeah, we have urges but whatever we do, I want to make sure that you're comfortable. So I can be comfortable. And besides, tearing off all of your clothes is sort of a tall order." The corner of his mouth pulled upward and Chris had to look away. He had moved right up to Chris's side, so that his knees were pressed against the side of Chris's leg.

"Because of the layers?" Somewhere in the very back of his mind, Chris knew this feeling. For all that the writers and publicists of Glee seemed to want to maintain that he was some sort of asexual being off set, he was in fact a young man, and just because he had never had a Blaine to his Kurt before didn't mean he hadn't felt a telltale fluttering of the heart from time to time.

Chris desperately wished it would go away. He wanted to be convinced that it was only there now because of the scene they were in. Kurt was feeling flustered and he was Kurt. Simple. But he also remembered the last few weeks, and they didn't support his adamant denial. Chris didn't know how many times he had told himself that Darren's asinine plan wasn't working, but now it seemed an awful lot like the most see-through form of denial.

Darren smiled widely, showing his charmingly uneven teeth and making his eyes crinkle. Chris felt the corners of his mouth turning up in response before he could help himself. When he realized he was smiling like a goon, he quickly corrected and chastised himself for it. He could feel his hands trembling just a bit and he clenched them into fists. He took a deep breath through his nose to steady his heart, which had begun to race in an erratic pattern.

"Because of the layers," Darren answered, leaning forward, the smile still on his face. The next moment saw a hand on each side of Chris's face, and before he could react, he felt Darren's lips pressed against his. Chris's heart sped up. A treacherous, hormonal part of him wanted to open his mouth wider but common sense prevailed.

As soon as he felt his rigid shock giving way to a softening of his lips, Chris sprung backward off of his couch. Every heart beat felt like a knock on the inside of his ribs and his breath was coming as if he'd just sprinted. Darren was red faced, still kneeling on the couch.

"What the hell, Darren?" Chris said, his embarrassment giving way to anger toward himself, which he then directed at Darren.

"What?"

"What do you mean _what_?" Chris asked. "That is _not_ in the script."

Darren looked away from the cushions of the couch and up toward Chris. "They're in love. I thought it would be cute."

Chris's heart began to slow. His mouth opened but he didn't speak. Instead he narrowed his eyes and looked up at the ceiling. Suddenly, he felt supremely stupid. They were, after all, playing Kurt and Blaine. Just because they were in Chris's house didn't mean that they were Chris and Darren.

"I – I – I," Chris stammered for words. "Uh…sorry. I…wow." He turned away and sat, forgoing the couch for a single chair. He couldn't bear to look in Darren's direction, though he could feel his gaze on the side of his face.

They sat in silence for a few awkward moments. "Can I ask you something?" Darren asked suddenly.

"I guess," Chris responded, wanting to turn invisible on the spot.

"Did you think that was Darren?"

"No," Chris lied too quickly. "I-it wasn't in the script, and I…" The lie faded away.

"Would that be so hard to believe?" Darren's question didn't have any inflection, but it caught Chris's attention.

He still couldn't look at him and therefore couldn't see Darren's face, but Chris imagined that it would be as unreadable as his words. "Yes," Chris said thickly, forcing the word out as it stuck in his throat.

"Why?"

"Because," Chris struggled. "You're thoroughly overprotective." He took a deep breath and prepared to tell the truth. Truth was _always_ better, he reminded himself. In the end, it always won out against fallacies. "The past few weeks have demonstrated that if nothing else. And I don't think you realize what you mean when you say that you wish you could have been the Blaine to my Kurt."

"If I did realize?" Darren asked quietly. "What then?"

"I'd say that then you're being stupid…but that's nothing new." Darren made an affronted noise but Chris continued. "Just like you were being stupid when you thought up that stupid plan with its one big stupid mistake."

"Yeah, yeah," Darren said, waving it off. Chris still looked the other way, but out of the corner of his eye, he saw Darren get up off the couch and move until Chris couldn't help but look at him. "If I told you that –" He broke off and took a breath. "If I told you that I know what the mistake is…if I said that…that it was made to be avoided…what then?"

Chris felt like he was walking through a dream. Sounds seemed to cease beyond the two of them, and Chris couldn't have told anyone what the view out of his window looked like, though he saw it day after day. If Darren meant what Chris thought he meant – and Chris still wasn't sure, because he was being awfully cryptic in his twisting of words – he was saying that he never planned to be a cushion between Chris and his first heartbreak. He meant that he wouldn't let there _be_ heartbreak. Which meant…

"No," Chris said, shaking his head. "Then I would say you're even crazier and that you're mixing up friendship, Blaine, protectiveness, and whatever else."

"Jesus," Darren said exasperatedly. "Do you really believe that someone couldn't maybe just feel something for you because you're _you_, and not because they're confused or misguided?"

"It doesn't matter," Chris said dismissively. "Time has shown it to be true."

"Give me your keys," Darren demanded, standing up.

"You should probably go," Chris said, suddenly feeling sick. He might as well have confessed to Darren that he felt real attraction toward him. It escaped his self-conscious notice that Darren had overtly confessed as much to him.

"No, damn it, Chris. Give me your keys and stand up."

Chris closed his eyes. "Is this a good id–?"

"Chris." Darren interrupted him quietly and when Chris looked up at him, he was looking at him with eyes that voiced his plea.

Resignedly, Chris grabbed his keys off of their hook and tossed them toward Darren, who caught them. He put a hand on Chris's shoulder and guided him out of his front door. Chris wanted to shrink away from Darren's touch, and he was relieved when he took his hand away to lock the door.

Chris didn't ask where they were going as Darren pointed him into the passenger seat of his own car and hopped into the driver's seat. It only took about ten minutes of driving for him to pinpoint their destination. "Why're we –"

"You'll see," Darren said shortly. Chris just rolled his eyes, too emotionally mortified to do more than that, and tried to relax as Darren drove. He obviously wasn't mad, which was a relief, and he didn't seem to be put off either. If anything, he looked almost smug as he drove down familiar dark streets. Chris didn't know how he was managing that emotion. The only emotion Chris felt was extreme mortification, and perhaps minimal curiosity.

They pulled up outside of the Glee studio and Darren turned off the car and got out without a word. He nodded toward a back door. "Wait," he instructed. "I'll be right back."

Feeling increasingly uneasy, Chris stood by the door fidgeting until Darren returned several minutes later. "Uh," Chris said nervously as he saw what was in Darren's hands. "What is _that_ and what are you planning on using it for?"

"It's a video camera, I got it out of my trailer, and don't worry about that yet," Darren rattled off. Chris looked at it uneasily. "Nothing _weird_," Darren assured him as he opened a back door.

"How'd you do that?" Chris asked suspiciously.

Darren shrugged. "I might've made friends with a security guard. You never know when you'll need spare keys. I bet if hostile aliens invaded, this would be the last place they looked for people hiding out."

In spite of the discomfort of the situation, Chris had to let out a half-chuckle. "Of course you did." He followed Darren, who was walking with purpose. "Can I ask you where we're going now?"

"No need," Darren said. "We're here." He had stopped outside of the choir room set. "Go on."

With trepidation, Chris entered. There were no cameras around, which gave the room a different feel. He could almost forget that it was a set and didn't have a roof. If he closed his eyes, it almost felt like he was living their fiction.

"I'm confused," Chris said, turning toward Darren. The other man had dragged a short, currently empty bookshelf into the middle of the room and he set the camera on it. He then took one plastic chair and pulled it in front of the camera.

"You've never done this before?" Darren sounded genuinely disbelieving.

"Sneak into a studio, probably illegally, infiltrate a set, rearrange it and film yourself?" Chris asked. "No, I haven't actually done that before."

"No," Darren said as he sat down in the chair. "People do this all the time. Some people write it on a piece of paper and burn it, or throw it away, or rip it up. Some people whisper it into their cupped hands and then open them to let it fly away. I like making a recording. No other way of doing it can capture every emotion…you can cheat on paper, but you can't fake the emotion in your eyes."

Chris's breathing was shallow as he listened to Darren talk. He still didn't understand what was supposed to be happening, but he didn't need to. "Just press record," Darren said. Chris walked over to the video camera, hopped up beside it, pressed play, and turned again toward Darren with bated breath. What was he _doing_?

Darren looked straight into the camera. "I'm Darren. I grew up in San Francisco but went to university in Michigan. Uh, let's see…I'm on this TV show called Glee, and I swear to God, I had promised myself I would give up acting forever. I was convinced that I'd failed at it when I got a call saying I'd gotten a part as this private school boy named Blaine." Darren started to smile. "I think they said I'd be there for one to three episodes or something. I can't even remember because so much has changed since then."

His eyes turned to Chris as he continued to speak. "First day on set I was nervous as _hell_. But then I met this guy named Chris, who not only played the main character I would interact with, but was also really funny, intelligent, witty, and so many other things that I can't even begin to voice."

Darren nodded as he spoke, suddenly sounding serious. "It ended up that I would spend a lot more time playing Blaine than I thought. Things blew up in a way I never would have expected. I went from being nobody to being recognized on the street daily and even needing a _guard _sometimes_. _That's not the point though. The point is that one thing was consistent from literally day one, and that was Chris. Pretty soon I couldn't even imagine what I did all day before I knew him. We were friends. Not the temporary kind that you can cycle through but really, truly friends."

Chris watched Darren with bated breath. He'd realized what the camera was for, and he also realized that what Darren had already spoken must have been only a preamble. "So it wasn't really a surprise when I'd get these warm fuzzies after seeing him laugh, or smile. I'd say it was just because it's Chris – _duh_." Darren's amber eyes found Chris's blue ones, and he didn't look away. "Then I realized something, and I didn't even realize that I'd realized it until later, which you wouldn't think would happen but it did."

Chris wanted to say something to Darren, but he didn't know what he would say. He was curious as to how Darren would continue – just what would he say to his video camera confessional?

"I've never really been one to hide things. Being honest with yourself is one of the most important things there is," Darren continued quietly. He looked away from Chris and to his interlocked hands. Chris's heart sped. This had to be it. "That's probably where denial springs from. You've always said that it was one way, so when it turns out it's the other you don't even want to believe it yourself. Then, after a while, it isn't that you are uncomfortable with it – because _God_, you definitely aren't." Amber eyes looked into Chris's once more. "It's that you hate how you've been lying to yourself and everyone for so long, and finally, you can't lie any longer."

He was quiet for a few seconds, staring at Chris, and then he turned back to the camera. "That co-star I was talking about? Chris Colfer? Yes, he's pretty great. Yes, he's extremely talented – more so than I'll ever be. Yes, he's handsome, beautiful, and so many other things. He doesn't even know it, which is charming, and he doesn't believe people when they tell that to him."

Darren paused, and in his silence, his mouth formed a half-smile, like he was savoring the last remnants of a delicious secret that he was about to give away. Chris, breath bated, felt every second tick by with excruciating slowness. Finally, Darren continued. "Yes, I've always said in interviews that I'm…'straight'. That's a stupid word and I've never cared for it. I've always liked to believe instead that gender doesn't really dictate who you fall in love with. The person is the only thing that matters. So this is my secret that I don't want to hide any longer: Chris is that person, and whether he feels the same way or not, it's about damn time that he should know."

He stopped talking, and Chris looked at Darren with wide eyes. He had said it – the last thing that Chris had expected him to say _ever_. His plan had been weeks and weeks in the making, and at some point over that time, he'd had the revelation he had just shared. Over the same amount of time, all the while upholding that Darren's plan wasn't working, there had been a subtle alteration of Chris's feelings that had shifted without him even realizing it.

"You can turn it off now," Darren said quietly, his breath half-held.

"I don't get to go?" Chris asked just as quietly.

"I-if you want," Darren said, suddenly sounding self-conscious. "Should I move?"

"No," Chris said quickly. "Stay there. It's fine." He looked around at the set. "I know why you chose here. So many things have happened in this choir room. So many lives changed and friendships made…it's crazy, when you think about it. I don't just mean the characters, but all of us too."

His heart was feeling overworked from its nervous thumping and it felt vulnerable in Chris's chest. "I don't think I can hope to one-up you when it comes to words, confession or otherwise. All I want to say is that I always tend toward caution." Darren's small smile fell. "It's why I've never said yes to anyone who asks me out more than once. It's partly why I said no to your plan."

"W-what's the other part?" Darren asked, brow knitting in concern.

"You made it sound as if you wanted to temporarily…use me for an experiment or something. Temporary doesn't work for me, not when it comes to you." His words echoed in the empty room, bouncing off of the walls and escaping through the non-existent ceiling. "I'm guarded for a reason. I don't want to be someone's experiment, or their big gay freak-out."

Darren stood out of his chair and stepped toward Chris, who remained sitting. "You weren't ever an experiment," he clarified, cringing. "God, if it sounded that way…I'm an idiot. I didn't even realize any of this shit until last night."

"Late night revelations?" Chris asked with a small smile.

"Late night revelations," Darren confirmed, chuckling.

"What…exactly…is it that you realized?" Chris asked cautiously.

"Temporary doesn't work for me either," Darren said genuinely, his bright amber eyes fixed on Chris. "Not when it comes to you."

"Okay," Chris breathed. He scooted over on the table to make room for Darren, who had to hop up to sit next to him, causing a smile to pull at Chris's mouth. Darren leaned over and clicked off the recorder. "What now?"

Darren took a deep breath and shrugged. Chris's eyes flicked down to Darren's chest as his lungs filled with air and the material of his shirt stretched across his pectorals.

"Darren?" Chris asked.

Darren, who had been looking at the far wall of the choir room, turned to him. "Yeah, Chris?"

"Are you sure? I – I mean, are you sure that you…"

"I'm sure," Darren answered confidently. "I'm _really_ sure."

Chris worried his bottom lip. "Can I kiss you?"

Initial disbelief transitioned into a look of hopeful surprise on Darren's face. "Please," he whispered.

Chris lifted a hand and brought it to the edge of Darren's jaw. His fingertips traced the line of his chin lightly, and Darren's eyes fluttered closed at the touch. Out of Darren's sight, Chris allowed himself to really smile as his fingers traced the line of Darren's jaw. His fingers found the underside of his chin, and he tipped Darren's head up as he leaned in.

The expectant moment before their lips met was filled with electric energy that shot back and forth between their skin and made Chris weak with anticipation. He lingered there, savoring the brief moment when he could feel Darren's warm breath and their lips tickled but didn't properly touch.

Darren broke the moment of suspended animation by tilting his head forward. Their lips met for the first time as nothing but Chris and Darren, no trace of Kurt of Blaine to be seen. Chris's breath hitched as Darren's lips pressed against his and he leaned into their kiss. Darren's hand traveled up the side of his arm and cupped the back of his neck as their kiss deepened.

It was drawn out in long, sweet movements. Their lips played off one another, almost lazy in their familiarity and yet brand new and indescribably sensual. Chris thought his brain might have cut out its time sensor permanently, so that he when he and Darren broke apart, he wasn't sure how long they had been kissing for. It could have been all night.

Darren's head stayed close, and he leaned his forehead against Chris's and smiled. "Okay," he whispered, leaning in to kiss him again briefly. "Is that a yes?"

"D-did you ask a question?" Chris asked breathlessly. He couldn't recall one, but in all honesty he wouldn't be surprised if Darren had kissed the memory out of him.

"Doesn't it kind of speak for itself?" Darren said, with a breathless, nervous laugh.

Chris shook his head, large smile playing on his lips. He thought that he knew the question, but he needed to hear it. At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to hear the words come from Darren's lips.

"Be with me, Chris," Darren whispered. "I mean really, properly with me. Not a trial run. Not an experiment. You and me, together."

"What about what people will say?" Chris asked. His hand began tracing faint lines and swirls up and down Darren's arm.

"I don't care what people say," Darren said, shaking his head. "If they don't like it – if they don't accept it – that's their problem, not mine." He smiled. "My problem, if you want it to be, will just be making you happy for as long as you'll have me."

Chris smiled in return. Unidentified vital organs – perhaps all of them – were doing Olympic status gymnastics inside of him, making his entire body feel fluttery and ecstatic. "Okay," he said quietly, beaming. "I mean, yes. Of course, God, yes." He laughed giddily, without the dignity to feel even a little bit ashamed of his eagerness.

"Okay," Darren repeated. When their lips met again, accompanied by a whirl of breathless laughter, shaky inhales, and gliding fingertips, they were both smiling.

* * *

><p><em>AN: So...this might be the end. I kind of feel like it came together with a sense of resolution, but I'll leave it up to you guys, the readers! If you want this as the end, coolio - if you don't want it to end yet, let me know what other things you'd like to see!_

_That said, I hope everyone liked this! I'll put it on complete for now but I might take it off later depening on what sort of response this gets._

_Thanks for reading! _


End file.
